The right time...

There are many things that I need right now and some things that I really want....but I am not lacking. This may seem contradictory because being in a position of want and need are usually synonymous with being without. Notice I say usually. However, my mother told me a long time ago that what is for me, will be for me. And so today, I realize that I have everything that I need. I have made a conscious decision not to chase after things that don't......won't......will never, ever really belong to me. I let go and let God.

Ok Universe, I release my grip in order to better grasp what truly is mine.

As the singers said in that classic song based on Ecclesiastes, to everything, turn, turn, turn, there is a season, turn, turn, turn. We are truly living in a time of change. The first African-American president is in the White House. To be honest, I didn't think I would ever see the day. Pandemic, life-threatening diseases, wars, high unemployment rates, foreclosures, global warming, etc. have many of us living in a constant state of fear. I heard once that fear is nothing but False Events Appearing Real. What are we really afraid of? As horrible as it all is, these events have a place and a reason. I'm not implying that we are supposed to sit back passively and watch the world go up in smoke. But it does seem a good time to put things into perspective and know who holds our future.

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

True talent

I'm so loving this new artist!

 

Laura Izibor is an extremely talented, twenty-something songstress from Ireland, of all places. She's touring with India Arie right now. Move over Beyonce, Alicia Keys and all the other "artists" they play on the radio ad nauseam. I just hope the radio execs market her for staying power. I can't help but wonder why those with talent, like Corinne Bailey Rae and Chrisette Michele (who by the way has a new album coming out soon...yahoo!), don't get more visibility--just enough so we know they exist, but not so much that we get sick of them. Anyway....YAHOO!  I get so excited when I discover new music and it's good!

Protect your neck...

....it's a vampire! Energy vampire that is! I interviewed Dr. Judith Orloff, a few years ago, for a magazine article that I was writing. Unfortunately, I don't remember what the article was about, but I remember the lesson I learned about energy vampires.

Just as the name suggests, an energy vampire, is anything or anyone who leaves you feeling like a casualty of emotional warfare. They literally suck the life out of you. It's the conversations you have with someone that make you feel as though you've been slimed with a substance that even a nice hot shower wouldn't wash off? If you're feeling drained, tired, or unmotivated after an encounter with someone, you might have fallen victim to a sob sister, drama queen, constant talker or criticizer. If you don't remember encountering such a person, have had a good night's sleep, have no health issues and you still feel run down, you my friend may be the reason. Your own negative thoughts might be sucking your energy.



So what do you do:

1. Awareness is always the first step. Recognize the situation for what it is.
2.Easier said than done, but if it's overwhelmingly negative, you must change your thought pattern.
3. Don't be a hostage to a conversation that's moving at a drop-dead speed off a cliff, into a brick wall, or towards oncoming traffic. Get the picture!
4. Protect yourself. Remember your garlic or wooden stake. If it's a family member that you can't avoid, you still have the power to limit interaction with this personality.

So little time...

When did life get so hectic? It feels like no matter how early I wake up, I just won't be able to get through my list of things to do, on any given Sunday or any other day of the week. It's getting to the point where I have to make a concerted effort to spend time with my friends. A brief conversation with them, whether it be via telephone, email or text, is followed by plugging our plans into my iPhone calendar, a follow up email and the transaction is almost sealed. They are equally as, if not more, busy, and so it may take a few texts back and forth--who has time for an actual conversation--to fine tune the details. There are days that are so jam packed that actually going to bed at a reasonable hour seems an unrealistic luxury.

At the end of one day in particular, I remember only being able to check off three of the ten things on my to-do list. I can't help but wonder if I've just gotten slower? Is this a natural part of the aging process or is time really flying by faster, like the final grains of sand in an hour glass?

A recent report confirms that life is moving faster and that the pressures of a world moving at such a rapid pace is causing thousands of our genes to respond. While it was once thought that human evolution stopped a long time ago, scientists are now saying that today we are evolving 100 times faster. They say that an entirely new human species could possibly be the result of this rapidly-paced world--a species so different, they will not be able to breed with homo sapiens. Wow! If there's going to be a newer, more improved model of me one day, I may as well slooooooooow down and enjoy the view!

Growing pains

Is it really possible to outgrow someone? I've heard people use this terminology over and over again, but it just seems so cold. Callous. Who am I to outgrow another human being? Isn't that a bit elitist? Here we are on this pilgrimage side by side...happily even...and then what happens? One day someone just wakes up and the proverbial cap no longer fits?

Or maybe it's more like a too-tight shoe that you just decide you can no longer bear the pain (or the corn) that comes with it. After all, what person in their right mind would want to continue wearing a shoe that rubs the back of their heel until an unsightly bubble of skin appears? Does it matter that the pumps are Manolo and you paid $500 for them? Those stilettos may look good, but you're in pain! Money spent on repairing a pair of worn-out boots year after year might have been better spent on a new pair. I know, I know, leave it to a woman to compare life to foot apparel...LOL!

Arguably the life lessons, friendship, and good times shared with someone should not be trivialized by comparing it to an inanimate object, on the other hand it may be a perfect parallel. After all, descriptives like painful, ill-fitting, worn out, faded, broken, sole(soul)less can be used for both. Recognizing that you've outgrown a friend doesn't mean you don't care for that person or that you harbor any animosity. Perhaps conversation is strained, a connection is lost, a bond is unraveled or commonalities have transitioned into major differences. Life experiences can create a Grand Canyon-like chasm and you may no longer speak the same language.

It's hard to face, but realistically some relationships just have an expiration date. A premise supported by the ideology that some "people come into your life for a season, a reason or a lifetime." Hopefully we can discern which is which and know when to let go....

I'm just saying....

Is alcohol a truth serum? Just wondering why some people's drinking means a never-ending session of "I love you man"? Really?!

Why would someone invite you to join their social network and then not respond to your email? Really?!

Why people over 40 think it's okay to blast hip-hop music for the world to hear it? Are they trying to recapture their youth? Really?! Come on!

I'm just saying!

Keeping up appearances

Everything is not what it seems, someone once told me. The statement is simplistic, but so true. I have a friend who on first meeting seemed quite gruff, but over time and under the right circumstances, she has proven to be one of the sweetest, most soft-hearted people I know.

There are so many scenarios that without further evaluation are deceptive. Married couples who seem happy on the surface...but dig a little deeper and they are two signatures away from a divorce. Product advertisements that don't live up to their claims. Desserts that look delicious, but don't taste good enough to warrant the calories.

Today was a dreary, rainy day. And although it is technically spring, it sure didn't feel like it. The air was cold and damp. The clouds looming over head were ominous. The trees in a nearby park, on my way to the office supply store, were still without buds. The news on my car's radio told of the chaos in England due to G-20 rioters and the pressure put on President Obama to fix not only the economic woes of the United States but the ENTIRE world. The outlook for this day could not have been much more dismal and gray.

Leading up to this summit were the president's television appearances. His calm demeanor, not giving way to duress that could crack a nut, a weaker man, or both, challenges us all to hope. Hope in a better future. Hope that our government can fix this mess that we're in. Down and almost out, I can hear the referee counting.... where does the tenacity come from?

As I drove back home, I got my answer. Amidst the grass, beaten brown from the winter weather and the oaks long vacant limbs, showing no signs of rescusitation, there was a lone, beautiful, tree with pink buds. A sign of hope.